Windows to The Soul
by SpiceyPumpkinBoi
Summary: Lotte had wished for a super power ever since she was fourteen and read books of grand adventure and romance. When she gets her wish on her fifteenth birthday she finds having a power is a double edge sword. Will she be able to take all of the consequences that come with being able to see into someone's very soul? Leaning towards Jasper romance fic. Still might be Edward, depends.
1. It All Starts Somewhere

She had the eyes of a ghost, she thought as Charlotte Louise Maddison stared at herself in the mirror. The ghost eyed girl, she liked to be called Lotte, made a funny face at herself as she twisted her head this way and that making sure to see herself at every possible angle. You see, Lotte was newly turned fifteen, a terrible age really, she didn't recommend it, and was determined to find _something different_ about herself. You see, way back when at the golden age of fourteen, Lotte had an adventurous stint in the wonderful world of books, and fifteen was THE age to discover super natural powers one would need to save the world from hidden monsters that the masses were otherwise unaware of. So, like any true hero of any story would do, she would assure you, she tried to activate said _would be totally awesome_ power in any way that wouldn't make her parents or friends immediatly think she was crazy. To save the world, of course. This often led her to staring at her room until it would clean itself, a task she often found herself distracted from as she would find herself messing with some once was forgotten knick knack that was so brilliantly brillant she wouldn't understand how it got shoved in between her stuffed animal bear and half open umbrella that just barely poked out from under her bed. NOW THOUGH, this, THIS was THE moment. As Lotte stared at her full length mirror, an object that often scared her when she got up to get a drink in the middle of the night cause, darn it, mirrors _reflected_ and a person in her room in the middle of the night was _scary_ , even if it was her own reflection, she could tell **something** was different but she couldn't place her finger on exactly what. Today had started out as any other, Lotte would give you that much, there was nothing to lend itself to her theory that she would be the main character in some fantastically awesome story and that she just HAD to have some kind of super power cause main characters were supposed to be _cool_ and _different_. Often Lotte dreaded the idea that she _wasn't_ the main character and she would never amount to some great adventurer with some amazing yet tortured love interest who would love her to bits. She was already _fifteen_ , dang it, her life was wasting away! Today was different though, it was almost instinctually felt as the brunette now looked at her little too big for her face eyes, Lotte knew the change wasn't with her eyes but in her mind itself. Lotte feared briefly that maybe she finally snapped before dashing that fear to the wind, her ghostly pale blue eyes had an almost determined glint. It was still early in the morning, WAY too early for Lotte to be awake, especially on her birthday where her mother said she'd check Lotte into school after lunch. The mismatched pajama set, the top a long sleeve navy blue button up and the bottom a pale yellow shorts with bright orange dots, did little against the Washington cold and cool wooden floors of her room as her toes appreciatively curled into the equally mismatched fuzzy socks on her feet yet Lotte couldn't seem to look away from her reflection. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind had woken her up and the freckled girl was _so sure_ it meant something _important._ Her mind almost felt heavier in a way and it wasn't as cool as she thought it would be because it was _bugging_ her. It was almost like the sensation of wearing a really heavy hat but on her brain, and the longer she stared at the mirror the more the feeling seemed to fade. Was she getting used to the sensation or was it never there in the first place? Frustration, thy name was Lotte. Quickly spinning on her heel, and praying she hadn't gotten a splinter in the process, the wooden floors were _old,_ the freckled girl lifted her hands to her room in what she hoped was a commanding gesture. The semi-dirty room, she really _had_ been trying to clean, was the perfect victim to test whatever powers, that may or may not have, manifested last night on. When willing things to move on their own didn't work out after a fruitless five minutes Lotte quickly switched over to trying to zap things randomly around her room. To her vast disappointment no lazer beams seemed to shoot from anywhere on her body. Naturally, phasing through objects was next, Lotte was still surprised her parents hadn't questioned the loud thump and later the bruise on her forehead. Lotte was also surprised she thought the best way to test that power was to run head first into her wall. _Twice_ Once the new ache in her head finished throbbing Lotte decided she would test for more powers AFTER breakfast. It was a pancake day, gosh darn it, Lotte would not be late to taunt her "waffles are superior," father with her oh so delicous cakes from the pan. Glancing at the clock but not paying it much mind because she could already smell the syrupy goodness from downstairs, the brunette girl made her way out of her room expertly dodging the mess that still layed across her room. Stairs squeaked rapidly as she rushed downstairs, her long hair acting as a cape to swish behind her for added effect. Bursting into the kitchen with all of the grace of a deer on tiled floors Lotte greeted her parents, "Good morning my wonderful birth givers on the wonderful day said birthing occured!" Lotte had always been a morning person, she felt a vindicitive satisfaction from making people flinch at her cheery attitude so early, so sue her.

"Morning birthday girl, sleep well?" her lovely father asked as he put the morning paper down to properly greet his favorite-and only- daughter. Lotte smiled, her dad had always been a morning person as well, until her eyes met with his suddenly very distant gaze. Pale blue eyes suddenly glazed over as Lotte's heart beat picked up speed and her breaths turned ragged. _Unfaithful, dissappointed, unfulfilled._ Her father's gaze said this all and more and Lotte suddenly had trouble staying upright as she looked towards her mother for some kind of support. "Pumpkin?" Her father's voice had a sharp edge of concern tied to it that caught her mother's attention but _why did it sound so fake._

"Sweetie what's wrong?" Her mother asked, turning away from the pancake she had been wrestling into some kind of submission. Ghostly eyes glazed over as she looked into her mother's concerned moss green eyes _, caring, supportive, loving_. Her mother was such a _good_ person. Lotte always knew this but now she _knew_ this. This wicked sixth sense left her feeling sick as it felt as if something icey clutched at her chest. Lotte found that she couldn't catch her breath.

"Honey, Lotte, look at me, breathe sweetie," her father's voice _(when did he get so close why is he so close)_ sounded by her on the floor trying to get her attention. Lotte didn't remember falling onto the floor but she did remember that her father's eyes told her things she didn't want to know, didn't want to believe, and she desperately shut her eyes while clutching at her head. She could hear her mother calling emergency services, Lotte thought that was _good_ as she wanted to be able to breathe again soon. A thought briefly crossed the brunettes mindbefore being swept away by another wave of anxiety, _oh how I wish I hadn't wished for a super power._

 **End of Prologue**

 **Next chapter will be a time skip! So be prepared! Our heroine is about to go through a bit of a downslide. I will aim to make the official chapter one a bit longer but no promises as I'm writing this cause it's fun and the second it's not I'm stopping.**

 **I do need some help though as I am unsure who to pair her up with. It's between Edward and Jasper. If it's with Edward I'm not writing Bella out but she'll have only a minor role (most likely) and if it's Jasper then Alice will still be Alice. As in they'll (Alice and Jasper) be close friends but only friends. Alice is too great to make a villain or write out. Bella is okay but personally I find her hard to connect with so it's all kind of up in the air. If i don't get any suggestions one way or another I'll just flip a coin.**

 **Sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.**

 **I do not own Twilight**


	2. Nothing but Apples

**Important Note:**

 **I have done my very best to figure out how to change this story's status to incomplete but I'm stuck using my phone and app to write for I do not own a computer. This story is not complete nor have I given up on it, I promise to tell you if either occur. Thank you for your understanding.**

Charlotte tossed the basketball half heartedly at the beat up hoop that crookedly stood in the cracked drive way. A whole year had passed since the rough discovery of her ability and today was her sixteenth birthday. The otherwise exciting day held no wonder for Lotte as she knew it would be a another quiet day for her in the gloomy town of Forks. Her fifteenth birtday marked the end of her happy family life, happy social life, happy life. In simpler words, Lotte was depressed about her situation and it felt like it was her fault for said situation.

After she had collapsed a year ago and was rushed to the hospital the doctors explained what she had suffered from was a panic attack. Now, Lotte was smart, she didn't say anything about the things she "saw" in the eyes of the people around her. How could she? How could she explain that she _knew the doctor felt so so guilty and stressed and that he didn't want be here anymore._ She couldn't. So the ghost eyed girl kept it to herself until she could figure it out on her own. Realistically though, she should've known things were never that simple. Charlotte could no longer look her father in the eyes as late night calls in his study and long work meetings finally clicked into place in her head. The brunette also found she couldn't bare to be around her mother with the knowledge she now had as it would only stress her too good of a person mother out. Charlotte at first had thought that maybe she should ignore what her eyes had told her about her father, maybe she had really gone crazy after all. Her father worked hard to support this family and so that's why he was often away or up working late, but her new knowledge left her suspicious. That suspicion led to actions such as hiding away and eavesdropping whenever possible, and when she overheard him talking on the phone with what could only be _a lover_ , Charlotte nearly cried.

As that first panic attack had been the first of many, for the coming of her powers had marked the appearance of an almost crippling anxiety, tensions in the house were beginning to reach a new high. Lotte knew her father wasn't impressed with her new disorder as they had to withdraw her from her school after two or so months. The young brunette had done her best to tough it out, really, she did, but going to school left her a shaking mess even before the first lunch bell would toll. It seemed that whenever she looked someone in the eyes, no matter who they were, she would _see_ the very essance of what made that person tick. Even now Lotte didn't know how to explain the rush of certainty of suddenly _knowing_ a person's state of mind or state of person. It was bad enough to deal with the nervous anxiety that would flood her veins as she fought to calm herself before another attack could occur.

When the ball bounced off the corner of the backboard and went in the direction of the woods Lotte couldn't help but sigh. Procrastinating going after the ball, the brunette reflected on the recent events as of late as she absentmindedly played with her pony tail. Lotte didn't really have many friends she could call _friends_ at this point as well as most of them had left her when they hadn't known how to handle her with her anxiety and the ones who tried were now in a completely different town. When tensions in her home had finally risen from both working around her new disorder and her dad's affairs coming to light-something Lotte could take credit for as she had unwittingly led her mother to finding out-her parents had eventually split and her father didn't hesitate to hand custody over to her mother. Ghostly blue eyes shut with guilt at the thought, Charlotte often wondered if she should have kept her mouth shut and her suspicions to herself. Her life had been _good_ until her stupid _stupid_ super power had revealed to her otherwise. Yes, she had known her father had given up his dreams after he'd gotten her mother pregnant so he could marry her and "make things right." Her father grew up traditionally after all and his parents hadn't been opposed to a shotgun wedding. At least back then he would say he was happy and Lotte could _happily_ believe him, her mother too.

With the divorce came more change, _it was too much change,_ as her mother couldn't keep the house in the divorce, " _her father had worked hard for it, it was his."_ Lotte knew her father was just fed up with the hand he'd been dealt and her being some kind of defect was to blame. _She had been the tipping point after all._ Her father still helped pay in way of child support, he even helped them-her and her mother- find a cheap place in the next town over. If asked though, Lotte thought her father was acting more of a child throwing a tantrum and hiding away the things that displeased him, Lotte was a bit _angry_ at him for that Often Lotte's mother had reassured the brunette that the divorce was a long time coming, that she had had a hunch about her father's infedelity and it was his loss anyway, but whenever Lotte looked into her mother's eyes she saw the _loss and the pain and the question why._

So to the gloomy, rainy town of Forks, Washington they went. They had completed their move in at the beginning of the summer-so Lotte could finish her school work, she didn't have to attend classes but she had had to take tests under teacher supervision- and now Lotte's mother was pushing for her to attend the local high school. The new school year was already two weeks in but Lotte had been fighting her mother to the best of her abilities, she didn't want to face new people, let alone people in general.

Deciding to give up on her ball for now, as it belonged to the trees that it had chosen to roll under to spite her and she had only really gone out to avoid her mother anyways, Lotte went back into the cramped building she could now call home. The freckled girl was sure that in its prime the little home could have passed for something _cute_ and _cozy_ but now it was a sad shadow of its formal self that her mother had been at war with. It seemed nothing could keep her mother down for long as she had been trying to fix up the home since the second day they'd arrived and she had even roped Charlotte into it more than a few times. Admittedly the home improvement schemes were fun and made Charlotte feel like her previous self as her and her mother worked on things while singing aloud to the catchiest pop songs they could find. That little bubble of comfort soon began to pop though as her mother had slowly begun to bring up the subject of school more and more. Apparently her mother had been talking to the local school and sorting out ways for Lotte to go without straining her anxiety too much. Lotte's mother was confident that the combination of the coping mechanisms that the brunette developed and the medicine that Lotte was currently taking were enough for Lotte to brave school once more. Lotte couldn't disagree more than she already had without telling her mom about how she could see _how her mother was so so frail and frayed mentally and that she was doing her best to hold it together for Lotte._ After a full two weeks of trying to argue Lotte finally gave in once her mother had reached the point of tears. So, she would go after her birthday, and thus, today was the last day of Lotte's freedom before she had to suffer knowing too much about the people around her and the anxiety that made her _so so_ scared of looking anyone in the eyes.

"Mooooom, I'm hungry and refuse to eat anything vaguely healthy!" Lotte was never one to wave off dramatics, and as she entered her small home through the kitchen door she was quick to state her presence. Her mother had been working in the kitchen recently, which was quickly becoming her favorite room in the house as her mom painted soft yellow flowers onto the cream colored walls, Lotte would've helped but her mom had taken the kitchen on as a personal project and swiftly kicked Lotte out whenever she tried to assist.

Looking over her shoulder her mother responded in her usual brand of motherly sass, "Well, when the hunger strike ends you can have an apple." Charlotte groaned out her suffering as she went to the fridge for the wretched bag of apples she'd been eating from for a solid _week._ Lotte was _tired_ of apples, at the rate she was going she'd never have to see another doctor again in her _life._

Looking towards her mother, but avoiding eye contact, Lotte bit into her apple in a rebellious fashion. "I eat this of my own will, it has nothing to do with you telling me to do so."

"Of course sweetie, and of your own will you should go and clean your room while I make your pie." Lotte _could_ say she was _very_ proud she had already managed to turn her room into a disaster zone but that would incriminate her. The not quite petite girl wasn't afraid to admit she didn't like cake, cake was just too sweet for her bitter soul and thereby her mother hath brought forth the option of birthday pie.

Grinning, Lotte fiddled with the edge of her shirt before she replied, "I _guess_ I could do that," walking out of the kitchen to head to her room Lotte turned to her mother one last time,"What kind of pie are you making?"

"Apple."

Lotte groaned.

~~~

Waking up in the morning was something Lotte wouldn't wish on her worse of foes. Now, Lotte _was_ a morning person, she took pride in her peppy atitude, but the first few minutes of waking up made her wish she could hide under her blankets until either the world ended or her mother dragged her out. Usually it was her mother dragging her out but Lotte felt today was the day the world would end. The jittery butterflies in her stomach that made it particularly hard to crawl out of bed were only a show of that. Already trying to control her breathing as she avoided all thoughts of _school_ and that she was getting dressed for _school, and not just any school but high school_ , Lotte couldn't decide if she wanted to dress up or not. Despite no longer being the poster child of extrovertion Lotte still enjoyed dressing her best as it was one of the few ways she felt she could still express herself freely. With her going to a new high school and starting it at bit of an awkward time though it left Lotte wondering if that would draw more attention to herself or not. Did she dress for success or dress for under the radar safety?

Stepping around the many things that graced her shaggy carpeted floor, Lotte pulled out a pair of torn skinny jeans from her dresser and an oversized shirt with the logo of an abstract band Lotte couldn't place. The brunette got most of her clothes from thrift stores and had grown skilled in repairing and tweaking the majority of the articles she'd find. Charlotte wondered if she shouldn't shower this morning as she had had one last night and ultimately decided she didn't need one because if she'd got into the shower now she'd probably never get out at a reasonable. Once the short brunette had all of the neccessary clothes on she wondered what she should do with her hair. Lotte actually hated her long hair, it got in the way often when it was down and she made it a habit of always keeping it up in some way. The only reason she hadn't yet cut it was because she enjoyed doing all of the different hairstyles with it. Twirling it into a bun to sit at the base of her skull, Lotte placed the required bobby pins to keep it in place and a yellow ribbon around it because gosh darn it, this town needed _some_ sunshine. Her bangs that used to sit straight across her forehead had now grown out to almost cover her large hooded eyes, Lotte preffered this. The harder it was for someone to make eye contact with her the easier it was for her to avoid it.

Deciding to go without make up, she wasn't opposed to make up but her nerves were getting the best of her and her movements were becoming tense and jerky, Lotte grabbed her beat up yellow back pack that had the basics in it one would need for school. Walking through the living room and into the kitchen the small girl found her mother already up, looking grumpy and glaring at her coffee as if it was its fault she had to be awake at this hour.

"I'm ready to suffer at the hands of my fate." Lotte wished she could say that her statement came out as confident but her throat was wanting to close and her voice came out in broken pitches.

Taking a long swig of her coffee her mother asked, "Do you have everything, Notebooks, paper, pens, music player?"

One of Lotte's coping mechanisms was blasting music into her ears to drown out everything around her, only instrumental seemed to calm her down though as once lyrics were added they only filled her head more and the anxiety would turn into irrational irritation. "Everything's in my bag."

"Alright honey, grab something to eat, I'll go start the car," Her mom said as she walked by Lotte and out the kitchen door. Lotte knew her mother wasn't a morning person and that she'd perk up around noon but she almost wished that her sassy mother would make an appearance to distract the ghostly eyed girl from her nerves. Heading to the fridge to grab an apple, the brunette didn't look forward to making herself eat, but she knew she would need the food as it was undoubtedly going to be a long day. Closing the fridge and taking a bite out of the apple in one motion Lotte quickly spat the piece of fruit back out and fought the urge to gag.

The apple had been rotten.

~~~

"I'm sorry honey, I couldv'e sworn I'd checked all of the apples when I bought them," her mother said as her moss green eyes would glance at Lotte every now and again as she drove.

"It's fine mom," the brunette gritted out, one of her headphones already blasting music into her ear. Even though Lotte had grown dependant on listening to music she wasn't so much a fan to learn the names of all the different music pieces she'd find, so if asked Lotte couldn't tell you the name of the song the piano in her ear was playing, just that it was keeping her from falling apart right there in her car seat.

The school was only far enough to be an unrealistic walk and so Lotte arrived to the school much sooner than she would have liked. The high school seemed to be a cluster of smaller buildings rather than one big one like Lotte was used to. Charlotte took into account that that might mean more places for her to hide away if she needed to.

"You're still fine with riding the bus home?" her mother asked, when Lotte glanced at her mother's eyes briefly, _worry, stress, love, caring,_ Lotte nodded while she focused on her breathing.

"Yeah, I'll blast my music. I won't even know other people are there." Ghost eyes focused on the student parking lot, it was mostly empty, _good,_ being early meant Lotte could probably find her first class with little interferance.

Her mother made a small noise, "and you've been taking your medicine?"

"You can count the pills if you want," Lotte quipped. Her stress was rapidly turning her into a troubled child.

"I can go in with you?" Her mother sounded like she was having second thoughts about Lotte attending but a part of Lotte actually _wanted_ to do this. Lotte _wanted_ to be normal, _wanted_ friends.

"I'll be fine mom, Good luck job hunting!" At this Lotte got out of the car once it had pulled up to the building that looked like the office, grinning as her mother groaned and the tables were turned. Her mom had put off looking for a job all summer because "they were settling in" and they had a small savings they could manage to live off of for a few months. Lotte ignored the fact that her mother was just scared to get a job since she'd been a stay at home mom for a few years.

Lotte was grateful to enter the office building when she did as it looked like it would rain at any moment and she had actually forgotten to grab an umbrella or jacket. "Hello hello, are you Charlotte Maddison?" a cheery voice greeted Lotte after a moment.

Looking up Lotte saw a red haired secretary, slightly overweight and wearing a faded pink sweater. "Uh, yes, that's me, uhm, I go by Lotte," The brunette answered while fidgeting with the edge of her shirt.

"Oh yes, your mother has been in here several times and mentioned something along those lines. You're already in the system so you just need your schedule and a map now." Charlotte would have been amused at how flighty the little secretary came off as if she weren't so focused on not meeting the red head's eyes. "Here's your schedule and a map of the school," the secretary practically shoved the items she had pulled from a filing cabinet into Lotte's hands but Lotte understood that it was mostly because she hadn't been paying enough attention. "Get your teachers to sign that slip of paper in between and turn it back into me at the end of the day, your teachers know of your.. _special_ ," Lotte winced at this part, "circumstances so whenever it gets to be too much you can come here to calm down."

Nodding, Lotte wished her a quiet good bye and left to find her first class. The student parking lot was steadily filling up and the brunette would have to hurry if she wanted to make it to her first class without running into anyone who would want to befriend her. Lotte wanted friends, yes, but she was also trying to ease herself into it. The map was useful to show Charlotte which way she should go for her first class, English, but she hadn't remembered it past her nerves and had been walking around for a bit before she finally looked at it. So now she was lost and noticing more and more eyes on her as she stumbled through the halls with her headphones on full blast, she was pretty sure what was playing was by a Beethoven guy but her breathing was picking up and her sight had started to tunnel. Turning a corner sharply in an effort to avoid the curious eyes on her, the small brunnete ran into a fellow student with blonde spikes for hair and a baby face. He said something Lotte couldn't make out over her music and she quicky spun on her heel to go back around the corner to get away from the boy who's eyes told her _he only wanted to help and to know who the new student was_.

Only to run into something that felt like the equivalent to a brick wall. With anxiety flooding her and her music on full tilt, Lotte's mind barely registered she hadn't run into a some _thing_ but a some _one_ until she looked _up up up_ and ghostly blue eyes met with widened topaz ones.

The first warning bell rang.

 **End of Chapter One**

 **I realize pacing is a bit off right now but I got too excited to have chapter one complete and ended up rushing it a bit. Hopefully pacing will even out in the future.**

 **I'm still stuck between Edward and Jasper but someone made some valid points on Edward's behalf so he's winning the battle in my head thus far.**

 **Note the Lotte is in 10th grade as this is placed a year before Bella arrives for my own conveinance. I didn't want to just rely on Twilight's plot and this gives me a bit more freedom to muddle things up before she arrives.**

 **Thank you for everyone who has left a review. I aim to make chapters longer but again this is all for fun so I don't wanna push myself too much when I'm also working on writing a hero aca fic.**

 **I'm sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.**

 **I do not own Twilight.**


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